SE7EN DWARFS GO APESHIT

A PIXAR PORNO

DisneyCorp has begun  pre-production of the R-rated version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. This movie will be totally non-PC. Some of the titles under consideration to attrack a wider audience were-Snow White Three Crackers, A Couple of Spics a Niggah and a Hebe.

Fuck it, said Marcus Wendus, president of DC, let's push the envelope and make it appealing to every cross-section of today's society. So they decided to have lots of sex, drugs, pussy, retards, gang wars and all the other good shit that make movies what they are today. Pixar is really excited about their contribution to this production. This the first time we will be doing pixelated hummers, cluster fucks and gang bangs. DC has penciled in an A-list of movie stars. There is hope that Tim Burton or Peter Jackson will be directing. Here's a peek at the movie.


CAST & CHARACTERS

ENCHANTED FOREST

Doc-Harrison Ford-Was at one time a practicing physician. He lost his license  because of misconduct, malpractice and ethics unbecoming to a doctor. For example, he performed illegal abortions, sold Rx for Oxycontin and would routinely accept blow-jobs for services rendered. He is not only the head of the Dwarf Crime Syncicate, but he runs the entire Enchanted Forest with an iron fist.

GRUMPY-MICKEY ROURKE-A steroid fueled lunatic. He's the muscle of the family. Does all the drug and protection collections for the family. He's also in charge of the drug distribution.


SNEEZY-ROBERT DOWNEY JR.-A very complex, conflicted and contradiction in and of himself. On one hand, he is a degenerate coke head, but having a Masters Degree in chemistry from MIT (Munchin Institute of Technology), he runs the drug lab and does quality control. The shit he makes has had a serious impact on the Hobbit's share of the drug market.

DOPEY-SEAN PENN-Grumpy's cousin. When he was five years old, his mother caught him having sex with some woodland creatures. Doc diagnosed him as a full-blown retard with some deep seated psycho-sexual deviations. Upon hearing this, his parents dumped him in a group home where he was viciously sodomized on a regular basis by the fags who ran the place. He was rescued by Grumpy when he found out his situation. Because of his limited mental capabilities, he is used primarily as a "mule" for the family business. He is a prime suspect in the sexual assault of Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood and Harry Potter.
  

BASHFUL-MATT DAMON-Sociopathic goon. An extremely vicious prick who runs the prostitution business.He has combed the country side looking for fresh whores. Some of the notable fairytale/cartoon women he has forced into hooking are Mother Hubbard, Tinkle Bell (she's real tight fit) and the Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe. You remember her as the woman who had so many children she didn't know what to do? Seems that all these children have done a real number on her snatch. To compensate for the stretched-out wazoo, Bashful has had all her teeth pulled so she gives one of the best gummers in the Forest!

SLEEPY-MARK WAHLBERG-an unrepentant "skin-head" who would dearly love to stomp on Happy's head. Sleepy's in charge of security for the Family and their business interests.

HAPPY-DENZELL WASHINGTON-Is the designated token nigger that DC is obligated to include in their movies. He's a really close friend of Sneezy. They met while they were serving time at Wonderland Reform School for drug convictions. Has a lot of connections with the Black Dwarfs that live in Sleepy Hollow Projects. Also a gun runner for the Munchkins of Oz.


NEVER NEVER LAND


Snow White-Nicole Kidman-Imports massive amounts of China White Heroin. She has a very tenuous truce with the Dwarfs. A real cut-throat bitch. Doc has many a time wraned the other Dwarfs-"Watch your back when this cunt is around!"

Cinder-Ella-Halle Berry-Happy's girlfriend. Was added at the cast because Denzell said that DisneyCorp is another racist conglomerate that is always fighting to keep the Blackman down. Interestingly, she's was also fucking Sleepy, till Grumpy found out and ended it knowing this would have had some dire consequences.

3 Pigs-John Goodman, Jack Black & Philip Seymour Hoffman-rogue, dirty cops who shake down the Dwarfs, Munchkins, Hobbits, Lilliputians and the Darkies.

OZ

Wicked Witch of the West-Angelina Jolie-runs a high-class whore house on the outskirts of Emerald City. It caters to kinky sex addicts. Her clientele include Orks, goblins, Gandalf, Prince Charming and other perverts.

Mayor of Oz-Vern Troyer-this sawed off little prick is a degenerate sex/heroin addict. The top Lilliputian has been black-mailing the Wizard of Oz. Seems he took some pictures of the Wizard having sex with an underage Dorothy.

Little Bo-Peep-Paris Hilton-Top earner for the Wicked Witch. She loves the cock!!



SLEEPY HOLLOW DARKIES

THE KHOON-Chris Rock-motor-mouthed smart-ass crack head. Nobody likes this prick. Is the gang leader.

NIGGER-ON-THE-TRIGGER-Snoop Dog-Runs Sleepy Hollow drug business. Produces and directs pornos.

PHUCK HEAD-KANYE WEST-does all the business negotiations for the "Hollow". All-round nice guy. Is liked by just about everybody.

PLOT & SUB-PLOTS

The Dwarfs have abandoned coal mining for the drug manufacturing business.  Doc explained it to the rest of the Dwarfs-"Who, in their right fucking mind, would bust their balls mining coal for $100 a ton, when good smack will get you $300 an ounce?" They have converted their coal mine into a lab. Sneezy is making some of the best shit this side of Disneyland. Things were going great in the Enchanted Forest until the Three Pigs started getting a little greedy. They began to squeezing a little too much out of everyone involved in the drug and prostitution business. To make matters even more tenuous, there are rumors that a gang alliance was being negotiated involving Hobbits, Elfs and Gnomes. This alliance would have the muscle to wipe out the Dwarfs and take over their business interests. Word has it they have put out a hit on Doc. With him out of the picture, the Dwarfs would be fucked. Shit starts to go down from the opening scene! The Dwarfs meet Snow White in a tavern. Dopey slips her a roofie into her drink. They take her back out back and gang bang her!

The Dwarfs begin negotiations with Lilliputians to form an alliance to counter the Hobbits planned take over of their territory. Through Happy, they have the cooperation of the Darkies of Sleepy Hollow who control the gun trade.

MEMORABLE SCENES

While doing some shooters in a gay bar (he's not gay, he was dropping off a supply of meth) Grumpy spots four of the guys who sodomized Dopey. He waits outside in the corral for them and when they get into their silver carriage, he empties 2 clips from a Mach 10 into it. For good measure he shoots their horses and torches the carriage.

The 3 Pigs pull an off-duty raid on Snow White's luxurious mansion. Not only do they take huge amounts of cash & drugs, they force Little Bo-Peep to blow them before leaving.

Near the end of the movie, the Se7en Dwarfs decide to have it out with the 3 Pigs. They get coked out of their heads, arm themselves to the teeth and head for the cop bar the Pigs hang out at and do a donkey-by shooting. From this point the movie deteriorates into one mother-fucker of a blood bath as Lilliputians, Hobbits & Sleepy Hollow Darkies begin choosing sides in the drug war and battle it out.

One scene that may be taken out so kids won't be too weirded out involves a cluster-fuck at the home of the Wicked Witch of The West. It shows Samwise Gamgee blowing Shrek.

Warning-This movie will be rated as PG18 because of some pussy-shots and obscenities.

My blog for the day. Wasn't it brilliant?